


Baby Girl

by littlemissgiggles



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: F/M, Harm to Children, Not very good because I wrote it three years ago, but sad, this is sad
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-09-19
Updated: 2015-05-20
Packaged: 2018-02-17 23:46:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2327531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlemissgiggles/pseuds/littlemissgiggles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Penelope and Derek try to reconcile after the worst thing that could possibly happen happens to them</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> I wouldn't read this. I'm just publishing because I'm wondering if anyone else would.

“Hi, Fran.” Penelope smiled, opening the door to her ex-mother-in-law. “How are you doing?”

“Worrying, isn’t that a mother’s job?” Fran quipped, her face falling when she saw the pain in Penelope’s eyes. “Oh, honey, that’s not what I meant...”

“I know.” Penelope smiled painfully. “Believe me, I know, I just... I can’t help it. Even after all this time, everything reminds me of them. Have you heard from Derek?”

“Not a word.” Fran sighed, smiling gratefully at the woman she still considered a part of her family as Penelope hauled the biggest bag inside the apartment. “The last thing he said to me was that this was all his fault.”

“What was?” Penelope asked, desperately hoping he’d mentioned her to _someone_.

“The divorce, obviously, and... well, what happened. He blames himself, you know. I don’t have any problem blaming him for the divorce, but the children...”

“Believe me, Fran, I’ve tried to talk to him. We all have. He won’t have any of it. I think we both _know_ we couldn’t have done anything differently, but losing a child... it makes you feel so guilty. I still don’t know how I get up most mornings.” Penelope replied, barely keeping the tears at bay. “I at least had someone to talk to when I went to that therapist, he...”

“He needs you, Penelope.” Fran said sadly, looking at her. “He _wants_ to tell you that, I’m sure. In fact, I’d bet that’s why he hasn’t said a word to me or his sisters since the divorce; he knows what our advice is going to be, and he knows it’s right.”

Penelope’s lip was still trembling. “I used to think that he was all I needed to make me happy, and then... oh, god, Fran, my life was so perfect. Sophie and Alex were the two most beautiful children in the world, and I suddenly knew that they were the most important thing I’d ever have, and then I didn’t have anything to live for... even after three years, I can’t find anything...”

“Shh, sweetheart.” Fran said softly, wrapping her arms around Penelope. “Don’t feel bad about missing them. They were your children, of course they are important.”

“Fran, I need your help.” Penelope sobbed, unable to control herself. She’d been keeping this secret for a month, ever since she found out.

“Anything.” Fran promised, wondering what on earth could get Penelope so shaken.

“I’m pregnant again.” Penelope whispered, looking at Fran, terrified. Fran was taken aback for a moment, and glanced at Penelope’s stomach. “Three months. I found out four weeks ago, and I just... what will I do, Fran?”

“How? Who?” Fran managed to choke out, and when she saw the terrified look on Penelope’s face, she felt more anger than she’d ever felt towards someone she loved. “Oh, I don’t care if he hasn’t talked to me in years, I will _kill_ that boy!”

“Fran, it’s not his fault!” Penelope replied, clinging onto the other woman’s arm. Fran raised an eyebrow and Penelope let go, letting her hands fold across her stomach.

“Like hell it’s not his fault.” Fran cursed, scowling. “How could he do something like this to you? You’ve been divorced for almost three years and he still thinks it’s okay to play with you like this?”

“You can’t tell him.” Penelope said, trembling. “He’ll be so angry... he’ll feel like I’m trying to replace our angels, you _can’t_ tell him... and anyway, it _does_ take two…”

“Sweetheart, you won’t be able to hide it from him forever.” Fran said gently, calming down quickly when she realised she had to be there for Penelope. She could deal with her son later. “Why do you let him do this to you?”

“We still love each other, we just can’t stand to be around one another.” Penelope replied tearfully. “We both blame ourselves, and when we’re not drowning in grief, we’re screaming at each other, trying to find a reason for what happened. We just... can’t be together.”

“And you’re sure he wouldn’t like this?” Fran asked sadly, knowing the son _she_ knew would have been over the moon about the woman he loved being full of his child.

“He’d feel so betrayed.” Penelope replied, shaking her head. “But I can’t give this baby up. I need it... I _love_ it, Fran, even if he won’t.”

“I know.” Fran replied, rubbing Penelope’s back, resolving in that moment to do whatever Penelope needed her to do. After all, she needed one person in her life she could count on.

~*~

“Stupid. Fucking. Asshole.” Derek muttered, punctuating each word with a swing of his sledgehammer against the wall. He knew that, realistically, he couldn’t afford to keep treating houses like a place to conduct his own personal temper tantrums. At the moment, though he just couldn’t help it.

Of course he’d heard the previous week that his mother was planning a trip to Washington. To see him? No. To see his goddamn ex-wife.

Thank you, Emily Prentiss, and your big mouth.

With a final angry swing, making the plaster crack right through to the next room, he flung the sledgehammer on the floor and put his hands on his head, breathing out slowly. As soon as he closed his eyes, though, he could see brown eyes, a sweet smile, two toothy grins...

No. _Not_ going down that road again. Not that his refusal ever helped anything. He needed more self-control. Yeah, he needed to work on that.

Needed to work on not smashing a house to pieces every time he had a bad day.

Needed to work on not finishing off a twenty-four pack in two days.

Needed to work on not imagining those two gorgeous children he’d never see again.

Needed to work on not turning up to Penelope’s apartment and _just for one night_ pretending that nothing had changed.

Because he needed to face it; it had.

The first time, he’d been hell-bent on apologising. Six months after the divorce, he realised that children or no children, he could _not_ live without her telling him that no matter what, they would stick together and get through it.

He’d turned up on her doorstep, flowers and apology at the ready, but he’d only gotten as far as handing her the flowers, following her to the kitchen and pinning her to the bench. It had been one of the most passionate nights he’d ever spent with her, and he intended on getting up the next morning, making her breakfast, and re-starting their lives together.

But he couldn’t. When he woke up and saw her lying next to him and his mind immediately expected to hear two noisy six-year-olds jumping into bed with them, he picked up his clothes and noiselessly made his way back to his car, neither of them acknowledging that it had happened.

Since then, he hadn’t been able to stay away for more than a few weeks at a time. In fact, that first six months was the longest he’d spent apart from her since they’d first made love, but it always ended the same way. He saw the expectation in her eyes dim every time it happened until he could no longer detect a spark of hope. It killed him that he’d done that to her, but it killed him more not to be around her.

He’d never stayed the whole night again, though. Not after the first time when he’d had that one deceptive moment where everything had been back to normal. Last time, they hadn’t even made it to the bedroom. He hadn’t come more than ten feet into the apartment, hadn’t even stayed for half an hour before buckling his belt and leaving without looking her in the eyes.

Yes, Derek Morgan needed to work on self-control. Because it was slowly killing them both.


	2. Chapter 2

Penelope stepped into work, holding her head high as she always did. The team were constantly surprised by the sheer professionalism with which she treated Morgan; far more professional than they’d ever seen the two of them act. They were nothing but polite to each other.

That had _everyone_ worried.

She was worried. Perhaps not today or tomorrow, but the next time he came to her apartment, she had to stop it. It was selfish, but they both knew what they were doing. Now that there was someone else involved, someone that would be with her for the rest of their lives in less than six short months, she had to grow up.

“PG, can I talk to you for a minute?” Emily asked, not even looking up from the file she was intently studying. “I need your advice on something.”

“No problem, gumdrop.” Penelope smiled, fixing her workplace persona firmly in place. “Come see me in my delicious lair of gorgeousness and I will see what I can do.”

“Be there in five.” Emily flashed a grin and returned to the file with a vengeance, making scratchy little notes all over it for later reference.

Penelope headed towards her lair, hesitating only for a moment as she passed Derek’s office. For some reason, it was still the worst part of her day, having to walk past him to go in and out whenever she pleased. She didn’t like him knowing where she was all the time.

She continued down the hall, but he’d obviously seen her.

“How is she?”

“You’d know if you called her.” Penelope replied frostily, still walking. She knew what he was talking about; well, if he wasn’t man enough to talk to his own mother, she wasn’t about to become part of his pity party. She had her own to worry about.

“You know I can’t.” He growled. “You _know_ what she’d say to me.”

“Oh, you have no idea what she’d say to you, Agent Morgan.” Penelope laughed coldly, finally turning to face him. She was surprised at how close they were. “You really, honestly don’t. If you cared about someone other than yourself, you might find out. She’s hurt that you can’t say anything to her. Her baby boy, gone from her life. Wish I didn’t know what that felt like, but the worst part is, is that _you_ are making a choice.”

She knew saying that was like slapping him in the face, but she didn’t care.

“She lost a daughter and two grandchildren because of _me_!” he shouted, suddenly not caring that they were at work. “How am I supposed to face her after what I did to her?”

“She lost two grandchildren because of a terrible accident that no-one could have helped.” Penelope replied coldly. “The only thing she lost because of you was her son. Oh, and you know what? You served me with the papers a _month_ after they died. One month. Yet you can face me.”

“Garcia, you know it’s not the same.” He said, willing her to understand.

“You’re right, it’s not.” She said, her eyes narrowed. “But there’s something else. You can stop turning up to my apartment, because I don’t want you there.”

“What, like there’s someone else?” he scoffed.

“Yes, Morgan, there is.” She said coldly. “And I have a lot of work to do for them. So stop being so damn cocky and start acting like a goddamn grown-up. Now get into my office, Em, and stop pretending we can’t see you.”

Derek turned to see Emily blushing and trying to look inconspicuous. She followed Penelope into her office and Derek rubbed his head, heading back to his own. He had no clue what to do.

~*~

“Remember your funeral?” Penelope asked quietly. Once Doyle had been apprehended and shot while in custody, supposedly by a member of the IRA, they’d all welcomed her back with open arms, not caring that she’d had to deceive them to survive. Hell, they were glad of it.

“Of course.” Emily replied, tears in her eyes.

“Theirs was a lot like that.” Penelope said quietly, playing with something on her desk.

“I know.” Emily replied quietly, telling Penelope what she’d been too scared to tell anyone; that JJ had been keeping tabs on all of them, told her that Derek had taken Penelope home the night that they’d heard Emily was dead. Told her that they hadn’t come out of the apartment for days.

Told her the date of the wedding so that she could turn up and be the mysterious blonde woman at the back of the church.

Told her the date of the twins’ christening.

Told her the date of their funeral.

“You were there?” Penelope gasped, looking up at her.

“I couldn’t not be.” Emily replied, tears in her eyes. “I’m sorry that I couldn’t say anything, but... Doyle was still out there, and his contacts...”

“God, Emily, I needed you!” Penelope wailed, clinging onto her friend. “I still don’t know what I’m doing... you’re the only other person here who knows what it’s like to lose a child, and I’m sorry for bringing it up, but...”

“Shh, it’s okay.” Emily sighed, hugging her friend, relieved that she was finally letting everything out.

“I didn’t know if I even had anything to live for.” Penelope hiccupped, flinching as soon as she used the past tense. Sometimes she _hated_ working with profilers.

She felt Emily freeze. “Please tell me you haven’t fallen for someone.” Emily said quietly, knowing how much harder it would make it in the workplace.

“No-one I hadn’t already fallen for.” Penelope sniffed, trying to joke. “It’s just that... we haven’t been able to let each other go, and I guess I forgot to take my pill every now and then seeing as I didn’t think it was that important and...”

“Oh, God, Pen!” Emily groaned, feeling sorry for her. “You can’t let him do this to you!”

“Fran’s mad at him too.” Penelope giggled for a moment, amused that everyone seemed to be taking her side on this, no matter how willing a participant she’d been.

“Rightly so!” Emily frowned. “He’s an asshole, Pen. He’s not doing anything for you?”

“Oh, he doesn’t know!” Penelope sat up straight, eyes wide. “You can’t tell him, Emily, he’d go nuts, he’d feel betrayed... I don’t want to have to make him deal with thinking that I’m trying to replace them, and I don’t want him to tell me not to have it...”

“So let me get this straight. You’re not even going to talk to Morgan about this before it happens?” Emily asked, folding her arms across her chest. “You don’t think he’s got the slightest bit of input into what happens?”

“Damn right I do.” They spun around, hearing a voice from the door. Penelope paled.

“I just came down to apologise.” He scowled. “Then I hear Emily saying I have no input in what’s going to happen in your life? If you’re moving in with someone new, then I reserve the right to make sure he’s...”

“Who asked you?” Penelope huffed, relieved he hadn’t heard the rest of the conversation. “And for your information, I still have six months before they get here.”

His scowl deepened. “And what the _hell_ is that supposed to mean?”

“It means that you have six months before I stop talking to you unless you turn your attitude around pretty quickly.” Penelope retorted. “Now go away. I’m busy.”

Emily looked between the two of them, both of them furious.

The next few months were going to be interesting.


	3. Chapter 3

Fran eventually had to go back to Chicago; she was distraught about leaving Penelope, but not only had Sarah’s husband been deployed, she was _also_ pregnant.

“Fran, she’s your daughter; of course you’ve got to go.” Penelope soothed. “Don’t worry, I told Emily what was going on; I’m going to have someone to talk to. I’ll be fine.”

“Alright, honey.” Fran said eventually, wrapping her arms around Penelope. “But let me know if you need anything at all, okay?”

“Of course. Fly safe.” Penelope replied, watching Fran head out of her apartment. The moment Fran had disappeared, Penelope went back into her now-empty apartment and looked around. There were things she needed to do and buy and set up before she could rest, but... she was just so tired.

For the last two months, Derek had refused to talk to her, taking her ultimatum about behaving himself or being ignored fully seriously. Of course, Hotch and Dave had both had a word with him, but they couldn’t do anything official; he was being a little immature, but there was really no way to discipline him unless they wanted to involve Strauss.

Which, Penelope agreed, was a _bad_ idea. So instead, Penelope called Emily and JJ, asking them to come over for the day. Both agreed enthusiastically, and JJ offered to bring Henry, knowing how much Penelope doted on him, as painful as it was to see the little blonde boy run around. It had been worse when he hadn’t stopped asking where Alex and Sophie were, and when they were coming back to play with him.

“Hey, Pen!” JJ smiled, Emily right behind her. They stepped into her apartment, Henry immediately heading for the toys on the table, Emily noticing straight away that there was something wrong.

“Are you okay? Pen?” Emily asked, concerned.

“Remember the day we knew Emily was coming back?” she asked tearfully.

~*~ Flashback ~*~

“Penelope?”

“ _Jayje_?” Penelope squealed, getting out of her seat so fast that she almost tripped. Laughing, JJ steadied her. “What are you doing here?”

JJ sighed and began to look guilty. “Look, Pen, we haven’t been completely honest with you.”

“Completely honest how?” Penelope asked, pulling away and starting to look worried.

“I shouldn’t even be talking to you about this.” JJ muttered, chewing on her lip and seeming to make a decision. “The thing is, we apprehended Doyle. He’s in custody now. Which means something really important is going to change really soon...”

“Fat lot of good it is, though, right?” Penelope said sadly.

“Yeah, it actually might go a long way in getting her back.” JJ said nervously, watching as Penelope figured it out. “I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you! It’s my job, it could have put her life in danger if anyone had tried to find her. Hotch and I thought it was best that...”

“ _Hotch_ knew too?” Penelope asked, tears in her eyes.

“Garcia, we’re sorry...” JJ tried, but Penelope pushed her out of the way and stormed down the hall towards the bullpen. “Penelope, you can’t say anything!”

“What’s going on?” Derek asked, stepping out of his office, surprised to see JJ, let alone that she was in tears. “Is everything okay? Where... is she alright?”

He jogged to the bullpen when JJ just shook her head uselessly, looking on in shock as she breezed past Reid, almost knocking him over, pushed Rossi out of the way and went straight to their Unit Chief, who was for a moment, blissfully unaware of her anger.

That didn’t last long.

They all winced as a resounding _crack_ echoed through the bullpen.

“Did she just hit Hotch?” Reid asked after a few moments, his mouth hanging open.

“You _asshole_ , you could have told us! You could have trusted us, we’re her _family_!” Penelope shrieked hysterically, pummelling his chest with her fists. He realised what she was talking about and grabbed her fists, holding them against his chest until she slumped against him, still sobbing uncontrollably.

“Come on, man, what’s going on?” Derek asked in confusion, watching his wife cling to their boss like he was the most important thing on earth.

“I don’t have clearance to tell you yet, but JJ obviously has.” Hotch replied, finally letting Penelope go. Derek strode over and held her, knowing she needed it.

“What is going on?” Derek repeated, his voice low. If it had something to do with Penelope, he needed to know about it.

When Hotch hesitated, Penelope raised her head away from her husband’s chest and looked at him, the pain obvious in her eyes. “It’s Emily, Derek. She’s coming back. She didn’t die, like they said, she had to run, but they got him, and she’s coming back...”

~*~ End Flashback ~*~

“I do. Hotch was mad at me for weeks.” JJ replied, raising her eyebrows. “Why?”

“Because I was so excited, once I got over the pain, for Emily to meet my babies. I was planning everything, how she was going to be their Auntie Em, how she was going to be a part of their lives because she was always going to be a part of mine.” Penelope sobbed.

Emily reached out for her friend. Although they’d known early on that Emily was coming back, it had taken four months for everything to get pushed through so that she could move back to America, back home.

By that time it had been too late.

“Honey, don’t dwell on it.” JJ said tearfully. She knew how hard it was for Penelope; hell, even _thinking_ about losing Henry almost made her have a panic attack. She felt so guilty that sometimes she was glad it hadn’t been her.

“I want you both to be a part of _this_ one’s life.” Penelope replied after a few moments, knowing she would shock JJ. Emily and Fran were the only people who knew so far.

“Oh my god!” JJ squealed, hugging her friend. “Oh, congratulations, Penelope!”

“Ask her who the father is.” Emily muttered, knowing it was mean, but unable to help herself. She just didn’t understand why she kept letting Derek back in when everyone knew it just ended in heartbreak every single time.

“I have my suspicions.” JJ said, raising her eyebrows at Emily. “And I agree, he’s wrong for treating her like this, but I think it’s time, if there’s going to be a baby, to try and start being positive around here for a change. I know Derek will be difficult...”

“Well, that’s an understatement.” Emily interjected again, watching Henry play with the Tonka truck he’d left here last time he and his mother had visited. For a moment, she let a smile play around her face. He looked so much like Declan had at that age.

“He doesn’t know.” Penelope sighed, getting sick of having to tell people. “And he’s not going to. And yes, I get that he’ll figure it out soon enough and put two and two together, but I really don’t want him to know until it’s too late for him to do anything about it. I am _not_ replacing Sophie and Alex, nothing could do that, but I get a chance to be a mom again, and that’s something I will _not_ give up. I already lost two children. I’m not losing another.”

It was the first time she’d been so honest about exactly why she wanted the baby, and immediately JJ and Emily both softened.

“Whatever you need.”


	4. Chapter Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! I'm back. Thank you all for your lovely comments and kudos :) sorry about the wait!

Something was going on with her. He _knew_ it. This was more than just a new boyfriend; she was laughing more, smiling more, positively _glowing_ with happiness.

And just like that, he knew without a doubt what was going on. That was exactly what she’d looked like on their wedding day, so perfect. She was in love again, and this time, it wasn’t him.

He paced around his house, desperately trying to keep all the promises he’d made to himself.

_No drinking_. Great, nothing to take the edge off.

_No destroying the walls_. He could always start demolishing the living room floor, he was almost sure that had to be redone at some point...

_No turning up at Penelope’s_. Fuck that, he could deal with the moratorium on booze and mindless destruction, but the last few weeks, trying to ignore her, had been utter hell.

He just needed to see her, needed to make her realise that this new guy, whoever he was, was totally wrong for her. That the right man was right here. He might be too stupid and fucked up to be able to be there for her all the time, but that he’d do whatever it took to get her back.

Clooney whined as he walked out the door and he hesitated. Why not pile on the guilt. He whistled and grabbed the lead from the door handle. “Come on, boy, we’re going to go see mommy. Now make sure you do those puppy eyes she loves so much.”

It only took him minutes to reach her apartment building; it never took him any longer when he was this desperate. He knew he hadn’t thought this through and that she’d probably end up screaming at him to leave her alone to her new life, but he couldn’t handle the knowledge that he’d just sat back and let her fall for someone else, no matter how much of a shit he knew he’d been.

“Penelope, open this door!” he called, rapping on it. Clooney barked, the excitement affecting him, and he couldn’t help but to smile.

“Go away.” She called from inside. He heard the hint of a giggle in her voice, and imagined her sitting on the couch with her new man, giggling a little, totally in love, just like _they_ used to. He pressed his ear against the door, hoping to hear something.

“He’s not going to leave, you know.” He sighed in relief when he heard Emily’s voice. He had one trick that _always_ worked, but he wasn’t sure if he was desperate enough yet.

“He doesn’t deserve to come in.” Penelope said snippily.

“Penelope Morgan, open this door before I kick it down!” he growled. He stepped away from the door, the apartment having gone quiet, and waited for the tell-tale click of the lock. The moment the door opened, Clooney nudged his nose in, barking happily to see her.

“Hey, gorgeous.” She crooned, kneeling down and playing with his fluffy ears. “I missed you, baby, yes I did!”

“Penelope...” Derek started.

“How many times, Derek, we’re divorced. My last name is _not_ Morgan.” She snapped, turning back to the couch. He was surprised to see Henry for a moment before the toilet flushed and JJ returned to the room. Her eyebrows shot up.

“Oh, hey, Derek.” She said, obviously confused. “Uh... I’ve got to get Henry to soccer practice, so I’m going to leave. You’ll be fine, though, won’t you?”

Penelope smiled and nodded. “Thanks, Jayje. You’re amazing.”

“You know, I personally think you lost all rights to bursting into her apartment when you divorced her.” Emily said coldly. He was shocked. She’d never talked to him like that before.

Then again, the glances that the three women had been sending each other were telling him that there was something he was missing.

“I know I did.” He replied, pained. “But, Penelope... I can’t stand by and watch you fall in love with someone else. For the last few weeks, I’ve been so angry, because you’re laughing and smiling, and _glowing_ , just like you used to for me, but the worst part is... is that there’s someone else in your life, and I just _can’t_ let that happen!”

Penelope shot Emily an I-told-you-so look, and turned to face him. “Listen, _Derek_ , you don’t have any say in what I can and cannot do. For your information, no, I’m not seeing anyone. I’m fine being by myself at the moment, because everything I need comes from my _friends_. I don’t need you, and I don’t need your self-pitying shit. When you’re ready to grow up and talk to me like an adult, I might consider it, but I’m done with _this_.”

Her eyes flashed in anger, and he was mesmerised again. He was the only person who could make her this angry, and the only person who could make her feel better in seconds. Despite what life had thrown at them, he missed her, and he pulled her closer, just wanting to give her a hug and show that he could be there for her, no matter how much evidence she had to the contrary.

As he did so, though, he felt something that _definitely_ hadn’t been there before. One look at her face told him it was the same thing that had them overjoyed six years ago.

“Oh, shit...” he heard from the couch.

“I think it’s time for you to go.” Penelope muttered, propelling him out the door. He didn’t even seem to notice that Clooney sat obediently beside Penelope as she closed the door behind the man that made her life a misery.

His world was shaken to the core. And he had no clue what to do about it.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! Sorry I've been away, real life has been kicking me while I've been down... postgrad life is exhausting! Finally got another chapter for all you lovely people, though.

“Cat’s out of the bag, big momma.” Penelope said without her usual spark the moment Fran answered her phone.

“Who told?” Fran asked immediately, scowling again. She didn’t like being this angry, but she couldn’t help it; after meeting the team, it had become very obvious very quickly who the most innocent was out of all of them. At the time, they’d all protected that innocence, but it seemed like her baby boy had forgotten to treat her gently.

“No-one, Fran, he came over and... I tripped in my haste to open the door to let him out and he caught me and I guess he just knows my body too well...” Penelope replied, changing the truth _just_ a little bit, just in case Fran Morgan _did_ start to judge her.

“Oh, honey, I’m sorry.” Fran said, hesitating before asking her next question. “What did he say?”

“I don’t... I pushed him out. I made him leave.” Penelope replied sadly, giggling a little- she knew it was hysterics, but couldn’t really help herself. “He forgot Clooney, though, so I guess he was surprised.”

“Do you need me back there?”

“No, Fran!” Penelope protested immediately. “Of course not, you’ve got Sarah and Des to worry about in Chicago. I’ll be fine, I promise, I just... I just thought you should know that your son now knows about his baby. I _am_ worried about what he’s going to do, though...”

“Honey, it’s his baby. He’s going to be thrilled.” Fran said certainly, her voice much surer than she was. She was glad of that; all she needed to do right now was comfort Penelope. She could deal with her son later.

“You think? I just… I don’t want him to feel pressured, or…” Penelope said brokenly, not entirely sure what she wanted to come from this. “Fran, what if he thinks I tricked him into it? I swear, I didn’t… I just… I don’t know what to do.”

“Shush, honey.” Fran instructed, waiting for Penelope to start listening to her again. “Listen, baby. You’re fine, okay? Derek’s going to be thrilled. Think about it- I know it hurts, but how much did he love your babies before? He’s going to love this one even more because he never thought he’d get another chance at this.”

Penelope couldn’t help but sob, but she knew Fran was right. Derek was built to be a father- he was strong, protective… more than a little gorgeous. “Thank you, Fran.” She said once she’d gotten herself back under control. “I’ve got to go for now, but… thank you.”

“Not a problem.” Fran replied warmly. “I love you, Penelope, like my own daughter. Please never hesitate to call me.”

They both knew that they’d latched onto each other quickly- Penelope because it had been so long since she’d had a mother in her life, and Fran because it was a way to connect with Derek. After all, he only came home once a year if she was lucky. It had turned into a deep friendship, though.

 

She had her hand knotted in Clooney’s fur when the expected knock came at her door. She curled in on herself slightly, but Clooney jumped off the couch and started barking at the door, looking like he was smiling. “Traitor.” She grinned at him before getting up and resting her hand on the door handle, building up the courage to open it.

“Baby girl, I know you’re there.” Derek’s voice was… it was a sound she hadn’t heard in years. Warm, affectionate, and just a little bit sad. “Please, I just want to talk.”

She couldn’t help herself. She opened the door and stood aside as he stepped in, first crouching to greet Clooney, scratching his ears as he looked up at her. She swallowed. “Hi.”

“Hey.” He nodded, standing. He was _very_ close, but neither of them stepped away. “So… this is why you broke it off? You and your new guy, you’re…”

“Oh my god.” She shook her head, stepping away from him. “You still don’t get it, do you? I have to end what we’re doing because I don’t need this baby being confused about who’s coming in and out of my apartment!” she didn’t have the courage yet to come out and say it, and she could tell by the scowl that appeared on his face that he’d taken it just as it had sounded.

“Who else are you sleeping with?” he snarled.

“Like you’ve got a right to ask.” She snorted.

“Do you even know whose it is?” he stepped towards her, crowding her against the back of the couch. She glared up at him, refusing to budge. She wasn’t going to let him intimidate her. “Do you, Penelope? How many men? Have you even been safe?”

“How dare you…” she whispered, looking up at him and feeling the accusation cut through her, right through her chest. She could barely breathe at the way he was looking at her. “You think… you’re _disgusting_ , Derek. Just because you drown your sorrows in booze and cheap sex doesn’t mean that everybody is as much of a _fuck up_ as you are!”

“Which one of us has a criminal record?” he snarled, stepping closer again.She pressed her tongue against the back of her teeth, stopping herself from saying anything she’d regret. It would be _so easy_ to cut him down…

“Get out of my home.” She said coldly, gritting her teeth against the other words, toxic words, that were trying to spill out of her mouth. _Failure, drunk, violent…._

He could see it in her eyes, though, and they both knew it. The accusations had been made, even if they hadn’t exactly been worded, and he stepped back. “You’re going to regret this.” He growled, and her eyebrows shot up.

“You know, Derek, that sounded like a threat.” She challenged, and he just laughed at her, grabbing Clooney’s lead and clipping it onto her collar.

“Trust me, Penelope. I know you. You’re going to regret pushing me away like this, because I’m the only man who’s ever put up with your crap. You think the dad’s going to stick around just because his bastard is growing in you?”

She would have slapped him if he hadn’t whirled out and slammed the door behind him. She leaned against the back of the couch, swallowing hard. This wasn’t going to be easy.


End file.
